"Filled with words of encouragement and reaffirming tweaking is necessary through out the process...Love it!!"
~ Alexandra Esperance, 1/31/18~
Photo Credit: Devin A. Hillery
I've started this writing over five times already because I have so much to say and don't know where to begin. I always strive for perfection, and although I know it's not always achievable, I try to come very close to the mark.
As I sit in front of my computer, I wonder: Should I stop typing and try my hand at it tomorrow? A rested mind...clarity in the morning. Maybe my words will flow better. Maybe I won't have to delete as much. However, the flip-side of me says, "But you committed to yourself that you'd write this TODAY", so a big part of me wants to get it done—but I want it done "right"!
You see, I'm somewhat of a perfectionist. I've come a long way with completely being one. I've accepted who I am—and I like being me. I've had to make some much-needed and necessary adjustments over my lifespan because there was a time when, if it wasn't on point or close enough to the mark, it wouldn't sit well with me. I'd have issues because it had to be "right". I'm analytical and extremely detail-oriented. When you mix all of those things into one, you have me. At one point in time, it was a lot for me to bear.
I knew I had to make changes within me because I couldn't control anyone else. I had to teach myself how to let things go. I recognized that when my daughter was born. Being the perfectionist I was, everything in my house was in its place—and you wouldn't find a speck of dust anywhere. Perfect is how I lived (or close to it).
Back to my daughter...
When she was old enough to play with toys, my house couldn't keep its perfect-looking appearance. There were toys everywhere! Even though we cleaned up, that aspect of her childhood drove me up a wall. That's when I recognized that the "issue" was within me. I had to continually tell myself that it was okay and that there was nothing I could do about it. The last thing I wanted was for my daughter not to be able to have fun with her toys. As such, if it meant having a room full of toys all over the floor, SO BE IT!
I knew I needed to tweak myself to maintain my sanity—and trust me: It wasn't an easy process. It was HARD to let go of order and allow chaos to step in. That's how I viewed it, anyway... As time went on, my adjustments became easier and a "New Me" emerged.
I am no longer a true perfectionist, even though I still strive to hit that mark. I now know that with every new year, tweaking is a part of the process; a part of my personal growth.
In 2017, there were lessons learned, successes achieved, and goals met. There were also heartaches, losses, gains, ups, and downs...you know: "LIFE". 2018 will surely bring some of the same. No one has the best of everything all the time, but it's how I handle my lessons learned that will make THIS year better than the last.
I've shed all that dead 'skin' and renewed my spirit-woman. I embrace this new year and all the challenges it has in store for me because I am stronger and wiser. My adaptability to change within was made easier by one word:
It was my love for my daughter that helped me to see: It's not that big of a deal. Let it GO!
I welcome 2018 with my head held high. I don't have a problem tweaking anything that helps make me a better person.
"Continue to let God guide you and Order Your steps!
~ Trinette Collier Greene, 2/3/18 ~
Tweaking: A Part of the 'Process'
By Cindy Hillery Reed
(c) January 31, 2018
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"Good personal insight and sharing. Keep growing, thanks
~ Marlowe Scott, 1/31/18 ~